So let me preface this with my reasoning for purposefully choosing to participate in the scariest thing ever...
I choose Performing Musical Theatre as a course because 1- as a English/drama/dance high school teacher im going to be asked to be involved in the school musicals and I feel I need more experience in order to assist my students and 2- ive always wanted to do it why not now.
In the week leading up to beginning this course we had been told to bring sheet music for a song we wanted to sing that they could then work out our range and help us find a song that would suit our voice. When I received the email I freaked out but reminded myself why I was doing the course and how in the long run this is benefiting my students. I decided to sing Let's Play a Love Scene from the musical Fame and had made sure I had the sheet music before I came.
Upon arriving here I found the Music Centre which is an amazing place. It's like a labyrinth of these individual brightly coloured and sound proofed music rooms with pianos. It such a great feeling being down in the basement practicing in one of these rooms. My first time down there I went with my roommate Andrea who knows how to play the piano so she accompanied me while I rehearsed. I am forever thankful to her for helping me as I began to feel more relaxed.
Ok- so now to the class... there is such an array of different people from many different cultures and musical backgrounds. We first did a group warm-up then moved on to introductions. Then began the nervous wait as we all sang our songs we had prepared in front of the class. There were some amazing numbers- George's (NJ) House of the Rising Sun was crazy good, Liv (London) accompanied herself on the guitar which was beautiful and Helena (Austria) sang mack the knife in german. I decided I need to go today otherwise I would just worry about it until Thursday so I psyched myself up and began...
It sounded horrible! I couldn't find the pitch, forgot lyrics and so after a couple of lines in I stopped. I was so angry at myself- like I knew I could do it and not be completely terrible. The entire class were so supportive and I seriously have the best teachers! Pam is so kind and so talented... can pick any note you sing and also know what will be the best song not only for your voice but also your soul and Meagan is the best pianist I have seen- do not understand how she can do it all at once and on top of that she is the most encouraging person I have ever met.
So back to my song... I stopped and Pam told me to sit down and look beyond the people, so I did just this only I looked at the ground. I was so annoyed at myself and I knew I didn't have another chance so I just had to do it write. It started better and I slowly got more confident in the song- I was able to hit all the long and high notes so I felt pretty good... despite shaking really bad and having the urge to cry. When I finished the whole class was very supportive with their cheers. Pam told me all this stuff that I had done that was good- I still don't believe her! Then I had to do scales with Meagan to see my range and did not know I could go that high lol.
The feeling of relief was incredible even though I was hurt by myself for not doing it right in the first place... but then I began looking at it as a positive because it cant get any worse and I can be most improved lol.
Pam will send us songs she suggests over next few days to prepare for our next lesson. Im interested to see what she picks for me :)
Feeling like I have conquered a big fear... im actually quite proud of myself :)
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